My doctor thinks I’m insane, but that’s okay because I am a little bananas.

I waited for nearly an hour to see this new doctor, playing an endless number of Solitaire games on my trusty iPhone and coming thisclose to yelling at the receptionist and walking out the door. The nurse finally came to get me, who was pleasant enough to make me forget about badmouthing the new doctor all around town. She took my still skyrocketed blood pressure, weighed me, told me I was underweight even though I eat more than any girl I know, and then told me to wait for the doctor.

RAWR. The new doctor finally came into the exam room fifteen minutes after that. We had a conversation about how I’m pretty sure I’m dying, and she decided to put me on a new medication. Ten minutes after explaining what that medication would be, she mentions…
“So, your family doesn’t have a history of blood clots, right?”
“Right. OH YEAH, I forgot about that. My mom’s whole side of the family has this Factor X Deficiency, so I probably have it too. So I can’t go on that medication. I forgot.”
“Factor X? You mean Factor 5?”
“No… I’m pretty sure it’s Factor X.”
“Hmm… I’ve never heard of that before. Have you been tested for it?”
“Well, no. Not yet.”
“Okay, well I’ll send in this script for the medication anyway to the pharmacy, just don’t take it yet until you’ve been tested. And if you have this blood clotting disorder…”
“I know; I shouldn’t take it. My mom said it could increase the risk of blood clots.”
“Yeah. So come in in three months and we’ll see what’s going on.”

She left the exam room, and I pulled my coat on and then left too. I heard her down the hallway saying, “she says her mom has this Factor X Deficiency… have you ever heard of that??”

Giggle giggle. I knew I was right; my mom, her four brothers and sisters, and her parents all have/had Factor X Deficiency. THAT IS WHAT IT’S CALLED. It was my fault though that she spieled on for a good ten minutes about the medication that I actually might not be able to take. I bet I’ll be the office gossip there all day… “Yeah, this insane girl came to see me today and kept forgetting to tell me IMPORTANT PIECES OF INFORMATION!”

I wrote down those important things to tell her, but I left the piece of paper at home this morning.

SEE TORI, I TOLD YOU I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING!!!

—Edited to add: Yeah, I was wrong. It’s Factor V Leiden Deficiency that my family has. Damn. Damn you, Google, for leading me on.

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